My kindness toward you wanes
And I am sad.
If my trust were blind and my soul innocent,
Perhaps my kindness might grow.
But I am weary, sometimes breathless and weary
Over the times I must second-guess
Whether you will strike me,
Knowing indeed that it is easier
For you to hurt me
Than for you to risk losing
The little you have.
Posted by ruth at May 15, 2003 05:23 PM
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Monday, May 12, 2003
Claws
She, a middle-aged Japanese woman with strong cheekbones, stared like a tiger into my eyes, her aging limbs stepping past me in the concert hall balcony.
She did not touch me. I disgusted her.
Posted by ruth at May 12, 2003 03:12 PM
She did not touch me. I disgusted her.
Posted by ruth at May 12, 2003 03:12 PM
Friday, May 9, 2003
Adult Scream
Last August, my brother became a father without the prospect of becoming a husband.
"If that happens to you," my mom said over the phone, "Mom will not exist on this earth."
Mom moved from Okinawan in 1969 to become a pastor's wife and a mother in very short order.
For more than three decades, Mom and Dad worked hard to give their four children everything, including an education.
And in the true spirit of learning, I explored many ideas, not just the ones handed to me during my childhood. I began to see that some "right" paths are absurd.
My brother had become a father that way, but he was being more human than the rest of us. I want to be human, and openly human. But she says it'll kill her.
I want to scream, "That's not fair! That kind of pressure is wrong!"
But she will curl and cry. And she will tell me, "I am nothing to you, then. I have no meaning." So I refrain, as any respectful little girl would.
I'm 30. I'm silent. I want to scream.
Posted by ruth at May 09, 2003 03:33 PM
"If that happens to you," my mom said over the phone, "Mom will not exist on this earth."
Mom moved from Okinawan in 1969 to become a pastor's wife and a mother in very short order.
For more than three decades, Mom and Dad worked hard to give their four children everything, including an education.
And in the true spirit of learning, I explored many ideas, not just the ones handed to me during my childhood. I began to see that some "right" paths are absurd.
My brother had become a father that way, but he was being more human than the rest of us. I want to be human, and openly human. But she says it'll kill her.
I want to scream, "That's not fair! That kind of pressure is wrong!"
But she will curl and cry. And she will tell me, "I am nothing to you, then. I have no meaning." So I refrain, as any respectful little girl would.
I'm 30. I'm silent. I want to scream.
Posted by ruth at May 09, 2003 03:33 PM
Comments
Scream! By all means, scream. Mother will survive it. And you and she will be stronger for it.
Posted by: kane on May 11, 2003 08:10 PM
Posted by: kane on May 11, 2003 08:10 PM
Kane - thanks.
It's a little jarring to see secret parts of people who were once your superheroes.
Ruth
Posted by: ruth on May 12, 2003 12:37 PM
It's a little jarring to see secret parts of people who were once your superheroes.
Ruth
Posted by: ruth on May 12, 2003 12:37 PM
Tuesday, May 6, 2003
Swoosh
The whole UH logo controvery really hit a nerve for me. I have to carry some of the discussion on my own site since the discussion thread on Hawaiistories.com is nearing the end of its shelf-life.
If this discussion were strictly about a logo in and of itself, I wouldn't really care. But this discussion dug deeply into issues of artistic contribution and how the public perceives, receives and rejects it.
It's not my style to be publicly critical of artists, being an artist myself. However, the logos presented by the UH administration were publicly roasted by many people who said they could do better and for much cheaper. Perhaps the people who were vocal about the logos may have sent in their own submissions. I'm not certain. But at this point in the game, having seen the kind of criticism dished out to the the Mainland firm, anyone submitting a design challenging the firm's work should at least be ready to receive criticism as well.
About the Submissions
I have a couple points:
Logos, like any artistic product, should make other feel emotions. That end result often does not come about through chaos, but through simplicity. Some of the most powerful logos of all time? To name a few:
Posted by ruth at May 06, 2003 06:42 PM
If this discussion were strictly about a logo in and of itself, I wouldn't really care. But this discussion dug deeply into issues of artistic contribution and how the public perceives, receives and rejects it.
It's not my style to be publicly critical of artists, being an artist myself. However, the logos presented by the UH administration were publicly roasted by many people who said they could do better and for much cheaper. Perhaps the people who were vocal about the logos may have sent in their own submissions. I'm not certain. But at this point in the game, having seen the kind of criticism dished out to the the Mainland firm, anyone submitting a design challenging the firm's work should at least be ready to receive criticism as well.
About the Submissions
I have a couple points:
- Hawaii Stereotypes Revisited. I know several people were complaining that the two scrapped logos embodied Mainland stereotypes of Hawaii. But I also think the reader/viewer submissions did just the same. I don't need to see the eight islands plopped upon an "H" for me to get that it's Hawaii. And if the ocean, flowers and palm trees aren't the stereotypical Hawaii, then I don't know what is.
- Lack of Simplicity. The submissions are too busy, and they force too many literal images together. They cobble all kinds of generic concepts into a basket. Ultimately, they lack elegance and depth.
Logos, like any artistic product, should make other feel emotions. That end result often does not come about through chaos, but through simplicity. Some of the most powerful logos of all time? To name a few:
- The cross
- The Swastika
- The Nike "swoosh"
Posted by ruth at May 06, 2003 06:42 PM
Thursday, May 1, 2003
Monday, April 21, 2003
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Over the Ridge
The wind softly robes us
As we climb a beautiful hill
Thousands of miles into the sky
Our feet surrounded by
Flowers whose names I couldn't know.
We reach the ridge.
Breathless
An instant brings
Another world to us
No clouds roam the sky
Blue of the mountain so deep
Envelopes my mind
Reaches so high
That I become nothing
Valley buries a carpet so low
Only an eternity would get us there.
Trees cover the mountainside
With green so moving
I become lost
Powerful water gushes
Through rock
In glowing white
With a voice so frightful and gentle
It could only be God
Written 10/2001
Posted by ruth at April 10, 2003 10:50 AM
As we climb a beautiful hill
Thousands of miles into the sky
Our feet surrounded by
Flowers whose names I couldn't know.
We reach the ridge.
Breathless
An instant brings
Another world to us
No clouds roam the sky
Blue of the mountain so deep
Envelopes my mind
Reaches so high
That I become nothing
Valley buries a carpet so low
Only an eternity would get us there.
Trees cover the mountainside
With green so moving
I become lost
Powerful water gushes
Through rock
In glowing white
With a voice so frightful and gentle
It could only be God
Written 10/2001
Posted by ruth at April 10, 2003 10:50 AM
I love this poem.
While reading, I had visions of the Stairway to Heaven and the trails deep within the Koolau Valley.
Posted by: kane on April 11, 2003 06:37 PM
While reading, I had visions of the Stairway to Heaven and the trails deep within the Koolau Valley.
Posted by: kane on April 11, 2003 06:37 PM
Kane! Hi!
Thanks for your insight. I heard about the Stairway to Heaven, and now I'm eager to hike there.
Take care,
Ruth
Posted by: Kane! on April 15, 2003 07:42 PM
Thanks for your insight. I heard about the Stairway to Heaven, and now I'm eager to hike there.
Take care,
Ruth
Posted by: Kane! on April 15, 2003 07:42 PM
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